Relationship compatibility test

About the relationship compatibility test

Many compatibility quizzes simply match personality types. Large studies of thousands of couples find that type or trait similarity predicts relationship happiness only weakly. This test looks at what predicts it much better:

• Attachment: how much you worry about the relationship, and how comfortable you are with closeness. Feeling secure is the strongest single predictor of a happy relationship.
• Conflict: whether you talk problems out or step back, and how heated arguments get. The pattern where one partner pushes to talk while the other withdraws is one of the best-known warning signs.
• Warmth and repair: apologising, forgiving and noticing the good. Couples who repair quickly after a fight do much better over time.
• Affection, togetherness, adventure and intimacy: the everyday needs that create spark, and friction when they differ a lot.
• Big decisions: children, exclusivity, faith, money, lifestyle, where to live, housework, family, partner's career and shared background. Disagreeing on these is one of the most common reasons couples split.

Spark vs staying power

The partner check gives two scores. Spark is how easily you click: shared energy, affection, adventure and intimacy. Staying power is how well a relationship is likely to last: security, warmth, compatible conflict styles and agreement on the big decisions. A high spark with low staying power is a fast flame that can burn out. A slower start with high staying power is a slow burn that often lasts.

Does gender matter?

Research finds relationships work in much the same way for men and women, and for same-sex and mixed-sex couples, so everyone is scored the same way and the questions are written to fit any couple. Age and relationship stage change what matters most, so you can add them for more relevant tips.

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