Attachment style quiz

What are attachment styles?

Attachment theory started with psychiatrist John Bowlby and psychologist Mary Ainsworth, who studied how babies bond with their carers. In 1987, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver showed that adults show similar patterns in romantic relationships.

Modern research measures attachment on two dimensions (Brennan, Clark and Shaver, 1998): anxiety (worry about rejection and being loved enough) and avoidance (discomfort with closeness and depending on others). Where you fall on both gives four styles, as described by Kim Bartholomew:

• Secure: low anxiety, low avoidance.
• Anxious (preoccupied): high anxiety, low avoidance.
• Avoidant (dismissive): low anxiety, high avoidance.
• Fearful-avoidant: high on both.

Can attachment style change?

Yes. Styles are fairly stable but not fixed. Steady, responsive relationships and therapy can move people toward "earned security". Knowing your style helps you notice patterns, such as the common anxious-avoidant "chase and retreat" cycle.

The statements in this quiz are our own. It is a self-reflection tool, not a clinical assessment.

Questions people ask

What is the most common attachment style?

Secure. In most studies of adults, a little over half of people come out secure, with the rest split between anxious, avoidant and fearful styles.

What is the rarest attachment style?

Fearful-avoidant is usually the least common, often linked with painful or unpredictable early relationships.

Do anxious and avoidant people attract?

Often, yes. The anxious partner's pursuit and the avoidant partner's retreat can feel familiar to both, but tends to keep both insecure unless they learn to name the pattern.